Monday, 22 October 2007

Black Monday

Indiana Gregg has chosen “Monday” as her Word of the Day in her blog, which is quite a coincidence as I had planned to do this Black Monday blog today.

I may have mentioned that I am very clumsy and accident-prone so I thought it might be amusing to share a couple of recent injuries with you all. I should say that these images are probably not suitable for tender young cats/people.

This is the Black Eye, which was what gave me the idea for this blog.

A few weeks ago I was ferreting around in my fridge to retrieve something from the back when I knocked the side of my face against the side of the opening. It hurt a bit and I said a few words from the List of Naughty Words but then thought no more about it. The next day I had the most humungous black eye! I didn’t have the digital camera then but I snapped it on my web cam. The funny thing was that I didn’t actually knock the eye itself, just the side of the cheek bone and brow bone. I had to go round in dark glasses for the next three weeks in case people thought Pinky had hit me, haha! Fortunately it was the summer or I might have looked like a poser or an ageing rapper, hehe!

Those who know me well will be aware that I HATE my oven and it HATES ME!!! How can an inanimate object feel an emotion such as hate, I hear you asking? Well, I don’t know, but my oven really does seem to have a malicious intent towards me. It has caused me to break my left wrist twice and my right wrist once, although the latter is debatable because I was too ashamed to go to the hospital yet again so I self-orthopodded it. I wish I had got photos of the plasters on my left wrist because they were very jazzy. One was a bright lime green and the other was a rich purple. The first break was two days before Christmas 2005 and the second was about six months later. Doh. The cause? Trying to get the oven door open (it sticks when hot) on all three occasions. It suddenly unstuck and over I went, landing awkwardly and breaking wrist. How could I be so stupid as to let this happen three times? The panic of getting everything dished up quickly before anything got cold I suppose. I don’t like cooking and I now avoid it as much as possible!

The other thing my oven does on a regular basis is to burn me when I go to get something out of it. The next two images are its latest assault on my delicate flesh. Not a pretty sight.

If you look carefully in the image below you’ll see a couple of scars from earlier burns. A doctor who I hadn’t seen before and didn’t know me noticed them and asked me if I self-harmed. No way, sheesh! I am oven-harmed, haha!

We had a gloriously sunny weekend here but today it’s so dark and overcast I’ve had to put the lights on. Seems appropriate for a Black Monday. Hope you all had a great weekend and are having a good Monday.


Kaze, Latte, or Chase said...

Oh my! I think your oven is very very evil. Perhaps you should get a new one? I would interview new ovens thoroughly though, make sure they are a good fit.


Daisy said...

Oh, I agree with Kaze, your oven is EVIL! I wish you would get rid of your very bad and very mean oven before he hurts you again. Because I think he is cooking up more evil plans! ::shudders::

Fab five said...

Get rid of dis ting NOW! Do not even stop to consider keeping such a ting. You are worth more den dat evil oven. You could even just micro tingz fur awhile until you get a new one. I would smashee it up reel good az it goez out da door, just in case it decidez to come back again, like doze bad beanz or monsterz in da moviez!

-Dr Tweety

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Yes" I agree that's one evil oven perphaps it's possessed .Just kidding
yet that a very bad burn.

P.S Sorry about the delete I tell mom she should always check her spelling.

Boy said...

Eeeww gosh! That wooks awfuwwy painful!

Henry Helton said...

Ouch. Seriously, Ouch!

michico*Adan said...

Oah my God....
This is so so so so terrible~!!!!

Mickey said...

Ummmmmm, have you thought about getting a maid? hahaha(sorry)
Dump the oven before it kills ya and I hope you whapped the fridge too for the black eye"wink"
Soon you'll have to change yer blog name to Black and Blue hahahahahaha!!
Purrs,don't cook anything!

Forty Paws said...

Goodness. You need a new oven, or a new cook. Hee hee.

Luf, Us

William said...

Oh my! I think you need a new oven. I have experience installing them--I could help, just ask my mom!

Ramses said...

You're not the only person I know who has a HATE, Hate relationship with their oven... ;) The oven here seems to want to double as a blast furnace as soon as you open the door! :(