Simba: I is the youngest but the boldist of us. We has been here with da Black Cat for just over a week now and we is settling in well, thow I is going ster crazee coz I iz yused to beeing an indore/owtdore kitteh, but that hissy sissy Alfie spends most of da tiem under da spair bed so he am not reddy to be alloud owt yet coz he haven't
oree orryen ornita sorted owt wheer he be on akownt of he hazen't luked owt of da windoes on all sides of da howse so he nows wheer he am is. Da Black Cat tried to put a harniss on me eerlyer, but I fort her and put the bitey on her and maed her bleed, so she had to giv up. She sed it woz so she cood giv me a tayst of da owtside, but I dinnent beleev her, I fink it woz all a cunning plot to taek me to da v-e-t or sumfink. Ennyhoo, da harniss is grate to play wiv and chase and put da bitey on, but no way is I gonna be waring it!
Alfie: Beefor da Former Dadee stuffed us intu owr PTUs he inntrodoosed us to da Black Cat and tolled us, "Dis is yuor Noo Mummy" and I fink she yam okay coz wen I hid and hid and hid I wet my pants but her wazzen't kross. She jussed put the bene bag I peed on in tha sopy masheen. Dis woz afftah she and Uncle Pinky got me owt of mine hidee hole beehind all tha
junk stuff she haz down wun end of her livving rume, afftah wich I legged it upstares and fownd mai nuw home unner tha spair bed. I staid there for a squillion howrs and then I camed owt and luked all rownd tha Noo Mummy's bedrume and she new wot I wonted so she pikked me up and starrtd to karry me to tha litur box but I coodn't wate and I peed all over her and she woz soked in mai stinckee pee but she wazzen't kross, she jussed stript off all her cloves and got in tha barf and woshed all my stinkee pee off!
Tha Noo Mummy finks I luk lyke tha kitteh in tha videeo beelo but that izzen't me! My former Daddees wood nevfurr hav treeted me lyke that. Dey luffed me, dey onlee let us go coz tha dawgs chaseded us and we woz scairt!
Nekst tiem I'll tell yuo wot I didded wen the Noo Mummy and Uncle Pinky got innto the red masheen on weels to taek us heer, hee hee!