The Caramel Cats* Settle In...

We hav now bin wiv tha Noo Mummy fur three wekes and am lyking it heer. She spoyls us heeps and we hav lodes to eet and we sleeps on her’m bed.

She am untidy but we doan't mynd coz she am luffing. Tha Simba and me doan't lyke to be too close togefur, evfun tho the Former Daddy sed we woz furriends and offtin slept togefur. Uncle Pinky finks dis maybee coz afore, we woz yoonited in owr scairtniss of tha dawgs. We doan't noe, orl we noes is thet theer izzen't no dawgs heer, so we'm feels saef wiv tha NM and we haz tiem to sort owt owr hyerk hiarc heerark pekking order. I yam appurrintly tha scairty kitteh but wen it cums to that Simba, I yam tha Boss Cat! Iffen I mete hims fase to fase, I staers at hims and iffen hims doan't bak orf I whaps him! Tha NM tryes to maek peas butwene us and it am werking up to a poynt, but I doan't noe iffen I kan evfur git ovfur mine jellussy wen I sees her luffing on hims, evfun tho he duzzen't attak me wen she am luffing on me. Wot do yuo finks kittehs, iz I owt of order heer?

And naow we hav bin heer long enuff we kan go owtside wen we wonts. In fakt sinse larst Sunday we bin alowd owt so effun tha Simba has stopt distroying stuff wot tha NM put up to stop hims brakeing tha katflapp, tho evfun so him mannajed to brake off tha trimm rownd it, heh heh!

Heer am tha Simba surveying hims handywerk, heh heh!

Tha Simba also likes to trash the trash!

Tho he hazzen’t dun it sinse we woz allowd owt and he am karm now. Too karm! I woz hopeing dat wen he went owt, he wood run awae and leev me to have mine Noo Mummy to mineself. Not so, dang!

Dis yam tha boks wot furmed part of tha barryer. It yam strong and fule of hevvy kutlerry. Tha Simba, evfun tho he yam smorl and littel, mannajed to nok it down and choo tha lidd! Orl tha kutlerry fel owt. Tha NM shood have took a pikshure of that, coz it allmoest maed me prowd of That Simba, heh heh!

Anyhooways, I pwomisst to tell yuo wot happend wen tha NM and tha Unkle Pinky pikked us up frum the Former Dadees. Oah, we laffed and laffed, evfurn tho we woz so nervuss! It woz a klassik manoover... Theer attenshun woz on tha Simba coz he woz stikking hims pors outta tha bars of him's PTU alla tha tiem. Tha Unkle Pinky woz starting tha enjin of tha red masheen on weels and tha NM woz farsenning herm seetbelt, wen, orl of a sudden, tha Unkle Pinky sez, "Alfie's loose!!!" They cood not bileev it coz theer iz no moer than wun inch at tha moast gap wen tha frunt dore of tha PTU iz poosht to its fullist aginst its lethur strapps. Iz I boanless or iz I Alfie Houdini? Heh heh, thay will nevfur noe, coz they didden't hav a flashy boks wiv dem and I arn't telling! I hav allso swarn That Simba to Seekritsee...

I woz not recapsherred eezily. I infliksherd injurrees!

*Thanks to the Ballicai Momma for this title!

Muchlyluffs,

Tha Alfie Houdini, hoo as youm kan see, butter wood not melt in tha mouf of, heehee! xxx ooo xxx

Introducing...

Simba: I is the youngest but the boldist of us. We has been here with da Black Cat for just over a week now and we is settling in well, thow I is going ster crazee coz I iz yused to beeing an indore/owtdore kitteh, but that hissy sissy Alfie spends most of da tiem under da spair bed so he am not reddy to be alloud owt yet coz he haven't oree orryen ornita sorted owt wheer he be on akownt of he hazen't luked owt of da windoes on all sides of da howse so he nows wheer he am is. Da Black Cat tried to put a harniss on me eerlyer, but I fort her and put the bitey on her and maed her bleed, so she had to giv up. She sed it woz so she cood giv me a tayst of da owtside, but I dinnent beleev her, I fink it woz all a cunning plot to taek me to da v-e-t or sumfink. Ennyhoo, da harniss is grate to play wiv and chase and put da bitey on, but no way is I gonna be waring it!

Alfie: Beefor da Former Dadee stuffed us intu owr PTUs he inntrodoosed us to da Black Cat and tolled us, "Dis is yuor Noo Mummy" and I fink she yam okay coz wen I hid and hid and hid I wet my pants but her wazzen't kross. She jussed put the bene bag I peed on in tha sopy masheen. Dis woz afftah she and Uncle Pinky got me owt of mine hidee hole beehind all tha junk stuff she haz down wun end of her livving rume, afftah wich I legged it upstares and fownd mai nuw home unner tha spair bed. I staid there for a squillion howrs and then I camed owt and luked all rownd tha Noo Mummy's bedrume and she new wot I wonted so she pikked me up and starrtd to karry me to tha litur box but I coodn't wate and I peed all over her and she woz soked in mai stinckee pee but she wazzen't kross, she jussed stript off all her cloves and got in tha barf and woshed all my stinkee pee off!

Tha Noo Mummy finks I luk lyke tha kitteh in tha videeo beelo but that izzen't me! My former Daddees wood nevfurr hav treeted me lyke that. Dey luffed me, dey onlee let us go coz tha dawgs chaseded us and we woz scairt!

Nekst tiem I'll tell yuo wot I didded wen the Noo Mummy and Uncle Pinky got innto the red masheen on weels to taek us heer, hee hee!




:) xxx